To Work or Not…I Chose…

If you have read my previous post to work or not in my Multiply, here is the summary.
I decided to take the offer. I decided to give it a go. Even though I would only last a month or so but at least I have tried my best. I had done lots of thinking and re-considering about this matter. It is not an easy thing for me to do it. Daniel and I had gone through a lot of disagreement. The funny thing was, when we found out that I got the job, he didn’t want me to do it. His reason is very understandable and reasonable. Who is going to look after the Boys when I work? That means we have to put the Boys twice a week at the Day Care. What if he has to go offshore and I get to work on the week-ends? And all other reasons that I fully understand and aware. But, at that time I was so keen and eager to do what ever I could do as long as I could work. So, yeah…you’re right, I’m crazy.

Then, when I got back from Indonesia I had lots of thinking and I got so confused. One minute I realized that it’s better if I don’t work, at least wait until next year when the Boys go to the Kindy. But another minute I felt that I really want to do it and confident enough that I could manage my time between work, doing errands around the house, and of course looking after the Boys while Daniel is away. While I was doing all these sort of thinking, the time was also ticking off. A formal training for new employee that I have to attend, was getting closer. Last couple weeks ago I was really busy with every thing in my life plus my husband was away a lots too. We spent Easter without him. I really didn’t think that I could make to the training as it would take 2 full days from 8.30 to 5pm. I was panic about how to organise someone to pick up the Boys from the Day Care as my training would be far away and it would take me half an hour to get to the Day Care, just in time they are closed. I was doing a lots of pray. Yeah…, I am an old fashion girl in a way. I said in my prayer, Please God show me the way if this is the right thing for me to do and if it’s not.
Then, on Monday morning, my neighbour next door came back from their Easter long-week end trip a day earlier than they planned. And in that evening my husband came home too. So, all my dilemma and headache were gone, and I guess my prayer was answered. It meant I could go to my training while Daniel who was taking a day off could look after the Boys. But knowing me, so complicated and can change my mind hundred times in a minute, here we go. I suddenly got cold feet and didn’t want to do the training and work. I felt that I was selfish and not a good mother if I have to leave the Boys more often at the Day Care. Plus, some points from my friends also put me off. Now, Daniel was the one who was eager for me to go for a training and do the job. He said, he would be very disappointed if I give up on this without even trying a bit. Funny, right? At first he didn’t want me to work, and now when I didn’t want to do it, he wanted me to do it.
Finally, I really made up my mind and it was in the middle of the night. So, I tried to find all the paper works that I had to fill in before training, thanks God I found them and ironed my black and white uniforms at 1 o’clock am….
I completed the 2 days training and my first day to work is on….this Sunday! What can I say? And Daniel is back offshore again tomorrow (friday) for about 2 weeks….aarrrgghhh…. My lovely neighbour will look after the boys for 4 hours when I am working. I thank God for my really nice neighbor next door. They are really really such a good neighbor, always there when you need and help as much as they can without being nosey and interfere our privacy. They are just like our second parents in here. They even looked after my standard roses for 4 years when we were in England!! And it was still alive and even better when we came back here. But died when I had to look after it, am I good gardener?!
I will work twice a week for sure, and some extra on the week-end only when Daniel is home and I am happy enough to do it. That’s a good thing about being a casual. Except this Sunday, I gotta suck it up since it’s my first day. So, wish me luck and I will let you know how do I enjoy it or not…hopefully I won’t quit after the first day!
Happy Friday, everyone! Hope you have a nice week-end with your love ones. As for me, I feel more like a single-mother lately.

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