You're Five!

Dear Nathan and Dylan,

A week ago you turned five years old. I can not wrap my head around the idea that you have been in our lives for five years, that seems impossible. I felt just like yesterday that they yanked you two out of my womb and placed you trembling onto my exhausted chest. Then the three of us were left alone at the hospital room at 3 am while one of you were peeing all over the crib and the other one wanted to suck a milk from my breast!

Your fifth year was by far the best yet, not just because you are almost totally self-sufficient, although that does help quite a bit. You two have learnt and realized that you can’t get away with a messy play room otherwise the next day all your toys and crayons will end up in the bin! You are much more independent, which is sometimes can be a little bit annoying….in a good way though:-) I feel like I can enjoy your company more now than years ago, you can be really good friends for me and, also you two are very chatter box which makes the house is never be in peace and quite atmosphere unless you are sleeping.

Nathan, you really enjoy Pre-primary very much. You love to go to school every day and never complain. You like to learn every thing and mostly your passion for drawing is never ending. Every time we get home from school, you will go straight away to your desk and draw something. Lately, you’ve been very hooked up with your numbers and alphabets. You will write down all the numbers and letter that you have learned from school and will ask me to count or read them out loud! Often, once you are up in the morning you will go straight to write your numbers and go to my bed while I am still in my la la land and ask me to count all of them!

Nathan, you are also more confident now than when you were in Kindy. You are not as shy as you were before. Most of the time you are easy to deal with and become more and more independent little boy. For example, you can make your own toast, put the butter with vegemite or peanut butter, and even make toast for your lazy brother too. Maybe in a couple months you will be able to cook dinner for us!

Dylan, you are a very caring little boy and pretty funny too. The teacher told me the other day that you just made the whole class laughed in tears with your chicken dance! You are the clown of the class. I don’t really know that you like to perform, as you were very shy to even sing a song when you were in Kindy. Both you and Nathan are come out from the shell now.

Dylan, you don’t really like to go to school every day. You often complains that you don’t want to go to school. But then once I drop you off at school, you straight away run to your friends and forget me already. When you get home you will tell me lots of stories from what you’ve learnt at school. So, I don’t really know why you always say that you don’t like to go to school when to me it seems you enjoy school very much. Maybe, because I always have to hurry you up in the morning to get ready and tell you to go to bed early the night before so you won’t be late. Both you and Nathan really love to play a lot, I reckon you can play for the whole Australia:) You like to spend lots of time outside rather than sitting in front of the box. If you stay inside you love to play with your Legos and lately the magnetic stuff that you can transform into different shapes.

You two have changed so much since that first morning you spent with us, a morning that altered my life so drastically that sometimes it still feels like I’m catching my breath.

I imagine that I won’t ever stop feeling this way, won’t ever stop having a portion of my brain dedicated to the thought of where you are and what you’re doing, won’t ever be able to escape the constant, nagging hope that you are happy and fulfilled.

My pulse is forever closer to the surface of my neck because of you two. Because of my responsibility toward you, and I can’t blame you enough for the dimension that this has added to what it means to be a mother.

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