When Friendship Goes Wrong

Couple weeks ago I read on my friend’s blog about friendship that goes into a wrong path.  The ones that used to be good, close friends gradually changed into a sour ones. Or sometimes  because the differences between each heads can draw into disagreement that can lead to the silent treatment for a while or forever.

Though, often people just change for no reason. Including ourselves too.  And we think we can’t be friends with them anymore because we have done something wrong or they crossed a path with us.  Or simply because they are toxic.  Actually they are not toxic, just irritating and at a different page of life.  They haven’t done anything wrong or vice versa, the issue is simply that we have very little in common and have different outlooks on life and different values.  They have a rather naïve way of looking at things and are somewhat immature.  They remind me very much of being 16 again.

They are also called circumstantial friends, people you get along with in particular circumstance, like workplace but you don’t share much in common outside of this.  Normally once you leave a job you can fade out of contact.  But that was before FB – Facebook 🙂

Personally, I often struggled with friendship and started to think it must be me the one that weird or wrong.  I used to try hard to fit into their circumstance, which was deeply in my heart I knew I didn’t like it, it was just not my style at all.  But because I needed social status so I played their game.  Sometimes I could shut my mouth but more often I  couldn’t and usually I would end up in a heated argument or unpleasant situation. Some people just seem really superficial and so full of shits that I can’t handle anymore.   Some I think they are ‘frenemies’ you know you are friends but also enemies with them.

Maybe it’s because I’m getting older that my vision and value of life have changed and I become more stubborn and  opinionated.  Also as you get older, you realise that people drift in and out of your life and it’s OK.  Now that I’m more comfortable with my life in general I know what is right and wrong for me.  I don’t care if I only have one or two friends in my life as long as they are really my truth friends, who know me better inside and outside, who won’t betrayed or back-stabbing me. I reckon your high school/university/college/childhood friends are truly your old good friends because they had grown-up with you  through every thing in life that they won’t judge you very easy when you make mistake and vice versa.  The background of your friends is also important.  When you have similar background i.e. through work or college or growing up together it’s easier to understand and follow the flow of the conversation.  Let’s say when you meet someone  either through book club, art class, or diving group at least you will have a similarity or same common interest.

I guess in the end of the day, friends are like lollies.  They are colorful, different taste and shape.  It depends on what taste or shape you’d like to have.  You can’t have all the lollies all at once though, it’s not good for your health and your dentist bill will go up 🙂

ps: it’s for you nath…am glad i found you even though we’re miles apart!

2 thoughts on “When Friendship Goes Wrong

  1. HI Ria, I can't agree with you more esp. the part of being older, more stubborn, and more confident with my life. Yeah, I too often think of friendship and have come to accept that friends come and go. People change, circumstances change and it's OK to drift apart. I hope other people realize that too so there's no need to take friendship too seriously and therefore, it lasts longer.


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