if only i know all


Sometimes I wonder should I chase my own dreams or just tag along with the life I have now?  I know it’s not gonna be easy road but I am sure I would be more content.  I have so many things that I want to do, to achieve, but I just don’t know how to begin with.  I have no idea how to make all these dreams or even one come true.  I feel like I am wasting my time.  I don’t have a gut to just do it.  If I fail at least I have tried, have I ?  I feel frustrated.

My last trip has ended.  Somehow I feel sad and lost.  I feel like I have nothing to look forward to.  Nothing exciting except doing the routine day-to-day life.  Being a mother and wife.  Lots of people will think I am so spoilt  and maybe they are right, I am spoilt because I traveled a lot lately and mostly by myself without kids tagging along.  I don’t deny it.   But I also have my own flaws and hitches.  From the surface my life probably looks perfect to others.  But we show only what we want to show to public, don’t we? The real ones are hidden under the carpet or unshared.  So, what you see it’s not always what you get, don’t judge.

As much as I often yearn to be somewhere else, to be in someone else’s  life, the reality is I am here.  And  I have to be thankful for what life offers me.  I should keep reminding myself how lucky I am and my family that we are all healthy and live comfortably. I have to remind myself to be humble and unselfish. It would be great if I can be a mother, wife and ++ but for now I am blessed to have my life as what it is.

Have you ever felt powerless and useless in your life? Or do you ever feel like you want something but it’s hard or impossible to do? Do you ever feel like you’re getting older and you still haven’t done what you’ve been wanting to do so far? And you will regret it later in your life?

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