The other day at the market, while I was eating delicious homemade chocolate crepe, I told le hubby who drank coffee and ate his bacon and egg sandwich, that I think I have mental disease.
Because that morning, I suddenly feel happy and content again with my life. All my sorrows and problems although they’re not disappear but they’re manageable. I have tried my best and so be it. I’m a human who have limitation, after all. Some things I can’t change and I just have to live with it.
At the same time, I realised that I’ve been chasing a one way friendship that’s not gonna work. I didn’t realise it before, that I’ve been begging to be friends with a person who doesn’t really have the same feeling as I do. I found this person is cool, we have similarities about life in general, we have same philosophies about the world, society, universe, and the nature of human thoughts. Plus, this person is a good photographer.
Every time I tried to make attempts to meet up, there is always an excuse to not make it happens. At first I kept trying and trying. Until perhaps a week ago, something I saw on social media platform woke me up. That so far, I’ve been begging for a friendship that can’t be happened. I guess the feeling is not mutual. This might sound like a love story, but it’s not hehee!
Funnily enough, I am not broken hearted. I just feel lucky that I finally got it. Yeah it took some times for me but eventually I understand that I’ve been chasing a wrong person😝 Last year I did a BIG mistake by trying to be accepted in the small group of people, that again, I thought they had similar interest as me. It only lasted until the beginning of this year, and I left being hurt. Another hard lesson to learn for me.
I have chosen a person/people who don’t choose me. Because like the wise quotes say, choose people who choose you. I don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends I can be certain of.
I feel blessed even though I don’t have a whole army of friends but I have my dearest ones and that’s more than enough. The closest ones that become friends by heart and sisters by soul.
What about you? Have you ever tried to be friends with people who don’t wanna be friends with you? Or it’s just me being so dumb and desperado ?? 😛